Be A Man

New years resolution: Be a man.

Rudyard Kipling
If 

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"; If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Joie de Vivre!

   
        It started out with "what on earth is a transducer?" and then BAM! I was done my first semester. A celebratory blog post? I think so! My semester, like I'm sure all the rest of you, was crazy. I had 14 courses and thank goodness I didn't have finals in all of them. In all I wrote around 12 throughout the semester and boy am I ready to veg out for the next 2 weeks straight! When I got home from my exam today I did a little Christmas shopping. As I walked down the street I noticed people were smiling at me, and more than the polite curving of the lips. I realized I was beaming. I could not contain myself 'joie de vivre' was bursting from me. After all it was a very special evening.

      Tonight was roommate Christmas. Everyone made something. We had roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, broccoli salad, yorkshire puddings and about a million kinds of juices. Seriously, living like student kings! After everyone overindulged we exchanged secret Santa gifts. 

 Eve bought me mine and I loved it. It's a picture frame with all the quotes from kid history. Which is pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to me. Our house is obsessed. As Ariel puts it "We say our prayers, read our scriptures and watch 'Kid History'." Putting that beauty in my study corner for comic relief.

      After those festivities we piled in the car and drove to the legislature building to walk around and look at all the lights. It was magical. Skaters were dancing on the ice, music was playing everywhere and the lights dyed the snow. We had a fabulous time listening to a choir and sipping hot chocolate. 

    When it was time to leave though, Kyla reached into her pocket and no keys were to be found. Since the grounds at the legislature are rather extensive we began, very calmly, running in every direction. They were quickly found underneath the bridge. An odd place to look for keys yes, but say if you had been rolling under said bridge to get to the other side it would be a logical place to look. Not that we do childish things like that, just a lucky guess...

     Finally we reached home and of course the perfect way to end an evening like this is to jump in your pajamas and watch a movie (Elf). Of course cheesecake was involved as our Christmas dessert.

Life is so wonderful when the longer you live the larger your extended family gets. I love my roommates.

I also love my real family though, and the countdown is on: 18 hours folks. 18 blissful hours until I'm in those gorgeous, foggy, rained out mountains. 

Living On The Edge

   
      For most of my life the world has told me that I take the easy road. The one with the least risk and adventure. The trail that will eventually lead to where all others join, but with significantly fewer exciting uncertainties. I've heard stories about the paths others explore. And you know what? They do sound pretty exciting. Dancing the night away in dimly lit rooms with music pounding through your body. Having a good time with your friends drinking fruity concoctions that make your head spin. Sometimes slipping out of the house in a sleeveless little black dress for a night on the town. For years I've heard the screaming "take a chance, it'll be worth it!" And when that opportunity is passed up the world turns to mock me. "Square, goody two shoes, no sense of adventure. Too afraid to take a chance?"

Well now I have something to say about it: What I do is anything but easy. I live a life more on the edge than the world has ever offered me. Would it be risky to go to the club when asked? Maybe. But the real risky thing to do would be to face the opinion of my friends, peers and classmates. To see the disappointment in their eyes when I say I won't spend that time with them. To open my mouth and say no.

  I could have taken the chance when unexpectedly the most attractive, charismatic guy I know, who I've admired for pretty much my whole life, came calling my number. The world tells me this is the kind of risk to take. But the bigger gamble was telling myself no because I knew we didn't share the same standards.

   Tell me it was the easy life to wear knee length shorts in the sweltering hot summers. Or that looking for a one piece bathing suit while bikinis filled the sales bins was a breeze. Tell me that when I had to spend extra money for alterations on a graduation dress and to walk into a room of 700 and be the only one in a perceived 'old fashioned' sleeved-dress I wasn't taking a chance at being ridiculed.

   What is the greater challenge? Being like everyone else? No. It's standing out that presents the greatest opposition, that pushes us to our limits, and forces us to make far more perilous decisions than fitting in ever will. While future generations may remember you for your life, I would rather be honored for I stood for in it.

Dear World: Your act is in a rut. Step it up a notch. I'll be waiting for you on the edge of life. It's a risk worth taking.

Why Dogs Stopped Flying

This amused me. Also I miss my Lulu. 32 day countdown until I'm home for Christmas (and see my puppy)

Why Dogs Stopped Flying

Before humans,
dogs flew everywhere.
Their wings of silky fur
wrapped hollow bones.
Their tails wagged
like rudders through wind,
their stomachs bare
to the sullen earth.

Out of sorrow
for the first humans--
stumbling, crawling,
helpless and cold--
dogs folded their
great wings into paws
soft enough to walk
beside us forever.

They still weep for us,
pity our small noses,
our unfortunate eyes,
our dull teeth.

They lick our faces clean,
keep us warm at night.
Sometimes they remember flying
and bite our ugly hands.

-Kenneth W. Brewer

Perfect

     You know those girls who are absolutely, stunningly, without-a-doubt gorgeous? Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect clothes? The ones that everyone wants to be around all the time? They are beautiful when you first meet them but just appear more and more lovely as you get to know them because their insides, which are even more perfect and pure, show through  And try as you might to dislike how perfect they are, you can't because you just love them all too much. Well in my new school year I've met a girl who perfectly (of course) fits this description. She is kind to everyone and sees their potential. She listens and has an endless source of compassion and empathy. While yes her outfits are out of a magazine everyday, what makes her even more stunning is watching her concern for other bus passengers and standing to give away her seat. She's a smart cookie, but she takes the time to help others keep up to speed with the enormous workload we have. She inspires me in a new way every day.
       The other day this girl and I had a heart to heart. She told me about herself and her insecurities, the things that have gone wrong and I came to discover her life, much to my surprise, wasn't perfect.
I really got a lot from this experience. I have learned:

1. Beauty, I truly and honestly believe, comes from who you are. I've never gotten to know someone, who is a wonderful person, and then thought they were physically unattractive. It has definitely worked the opposite way though. There is beauty in everyone.

2. No one's life anywhere is perfect. It's not avoiding hardship, but what you do with it that makes you incredible.

3. Everyone feel insecure to a degree.

4. Your actions, though they may seem small and insignificant are noticed. People are watching. Although they may never say anything the things you say and do can change perspectives, opinions and lives.

5. People, not matter how much you think they are, are not perfect. And isn't that a comfort!

It Is Better To Look Up...And Out

It was mid week and I was fried. My brain was done, my body was exhausted and exams were lying before me for miles. Still, as I sat on the bus ride home I buried my head in my books to cram what I could in the limited space left up there. I fought with myself to stay focused and while I did I could feel the stress rising. I took a moment to just breath. Then looked across the isle from me at a girl. She was staring intently out the window. We were driving across the high level bridge, passing over the river valley. It was gorgeous. The sun was low in the sky and casting a golden light over everything. You could see the yellow of the trees interspersed with deep greens all reflecting back on the river. Passing by pillars rays of sun would burst through the windows and you could feel the warmth of autumn sunshine on your face.

Looking out everything in the world seemed right. Turning my gaze to everyone else on the bus everyone looked how I did just minutes before. Consumed in themselves, and the narrow dirty space we were squeezed into. Not taking a glance out the window or realizing the scenes that were passing by. I'm sure we've all been stuck in places like that in our lives. Times when it seems this is all there is to life. Sometimes we don't even realize all the good and wonderful things that are going on around us or the beauty that is ever present. I thought how every time I seem to overcome some obstacle or challenge another one is waiting for me at the bend in the road. It seems only small moments when my life is carefree joy. But isn't that life? I tried to imagine life without any challenges and how boring that must be! My greatest inspiration has come from those who have overcome huge struggles. Realizing how much growth has come from failing, the satisfaction I get from mastering something hard or how when the world gangs up on you then the small joys and victories are magnified and become diamonds in the rough, I don't think I would trade all my troubles for a carefree life.
 In general conference this past month a story was told about President Monson. He said to a man who had his gaze set on the floor "It is better to look up." And you know what? The view is even better if you look out.

Thanksgiving

Things I'm thankful for this year:
-Family, home, friends
-Contagious laughter that makes you forget you had a care in the world
- Living  30 seconds away from my bus stop
-Cue cards
-Good phone plans so I can call home and vent for as long as I need to
-How much time copy and paste saves
-Snooze button
-Left overs
-Multiple choice questions with only 3 responses
-Non-cumulative classes
-Scrubs
-Naps
-The smell of cooking pumpkin
-Pretty colored sticky notes
- Early bed time
-Saturdays

Sonography Celebrations

It's Sonography week everyone! So in celebration all ultrasound students were invited to an upstairs room of the school that had a great view. We had cake and punch while we played get to know your professor games and looked out onto the city. There were prizes and super nerdy ones, which are definitely my favorite. I'm so grateful for the amazing opportunity to be in this program. I love being in such a small class that my professor knows my name, where I sit and who my friends are. Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

Goodies :)

My 2 favorite prizes: On the left is a trandsducer keychain and the right is a mini-squirt hand sanitizer. Win! 

Ps. The image on the top is the right lobe of the liver with the hepatic veins. No textbook required. NBD.

Falling for the First Time

 

When I walked out this morning it smelled like fall. It was the first day the season hung in the air. Edmonton has a lot to offer. It has an enormous amount of YSA, there is a temple, a huge mall and a school that offers the program I wanted, it has a big ever-changing sky and the river valley is gorgeous. But Autumn is one thing Vancouver has it beat hands down.

 Fall is my favorite time of year. The air is spicy and just chilly enough to break out your heavier coats. The world looks like colorful children's books and the ground crackles with every step. It's a beginning for the official hot chocolate season. I miss home most around this time. The yellow-brown leaves are lovely.

 But I miss the reds and oranges and gorgeous pinks. Everything looks as though it's burst into flame. It's my dream to be back for just one more fall. Somebody find me a shooting star.

Be Still

      This past week has been...an experience. I've moved into a new house, started going to a new school and watched old friends go and new ones come. My Mom drove up with me from Vancouver and we set up my new room. Put my scholarships in order and bought 3 months worth of rent in books.
     
     The time came for her to drive away and it was worse than the first time she did last year. That awful pit was making it's home in what I've come to learn this week as my umbilical quadrant. I was worried like no other. But knowing moms, she knew exactly what I needed. In an almost fairy godmother-like experience she produced a small box. And a scripture that read "Therefore, let your hearts be comforted...for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God."  Taking off the lid I couldn't help but let a few tears fall seeing the beautifully delicate object. But what I love almost as much as the crystal is the message on the box.

I'm so grateful for the mom I have and for the knowledge that even when she's gone I'm not alone.

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

    As a child I had more irrational fears than most children. Along with spiders, clowns and trying new foods I was afraid in the middle of the night someone would sneak into my room and kidnap me. I mean seriously afraid. My parents assured me they were right down the hallway if I screamed they would come. That kind of thing rarely happens anyway. Eventually I grew out of the fear that prevented me from sleepovers at friend's houses.
 
  Last night my fear returned. I was getting ready for bed and had the feeling that I should close my window. And last night I really was going to close it myself, but I just forgot. 

     Nicely snuggled into bed, my white curtains billowed a bit to remind me the window had still not been shut. I was far too comfortable to be paranoid by then so I just let it stay open.

    Well wouldn't you just know it. It was a dark and stormy night. Usually that kind of thing doesn't wake me up. But this night was different. I woke up suddenly and could hear the pounding of rain from my open window. The bed began to shake. I was a little frightened and disoriented since I had just been woken  up. All of a sudden something large landed on my bed that came from the window. I Screamed and turned to look at what had joined me. A large, dark figure was standing on my bed shaking the entire thing. Never have I been so scared. Just as I was about to attack in self defense,the intruder began panting and was shaking more than ever. And it didn't seem to be approaching me any further. Letting my eyes adjust a bit more I realized that the black body was far too small to be human. I suppose the dark and stormy night had produced thunder which my dog had found just too much to handle in her bed, alone on the floor. 

       Much more at ease I fell back on my pillow with just one more matter troubling my mind. All those years my parents assured me they were just down the hallway, where were they then?

Sweet 16

Little brothers are so much fun. Last week Clayton got his License in the mail. He was rather confused when he opened the envelope and found registration forms for organ donation.  My mom and I kept telling him it was a good thing and that thousands of sick people are waiting for organs to be donated. He was disgusted with us and looked a little bit terrified. He asked "Why would anyone do that?? Would you do that?!" Well yeah, mom is already signed up. They only take it when you're dead. Clayton, suddenly much more subdued with the new knowledge that his organs would only be removed once he was done with them just responded with "...Oh."

For The Beauty of The Earth

  

 When someone tells me they like my pictures I am extremely complimented.  And not because I've followed the rule of thirds or set my aperture and f-stop to make a well composed photo. I feel like they are actually saying "the way you see the world is beautiful".  I think beauty is a thing of perspective, and a good perspective is beautiful. But it can't be that hard to see things as beautiful when we live among creations of the divine. I'm just grateful to document them. The world didn't have to be pretty so we could live in it. The sky doesn't have to turn orange, pink and purple when the sun goes down. Who ever said that leaves had to be all shades of autumn before falling? Somehow I just can't believe it came together in perfect harmony by coincidence or mistake. 

 In fact I think the man upstairs sure knows what He's doing.

All things that come of the earth, in the season thereof, are...both to please the eye...

                                                      ...to gladden the heart...

                                           ...to strengthen the body and enliven the soul D&C59:18-19

PS. Thanks Addie for the picture info! 

Je Veux Gambader

 
Last week I crossed another item off my summer bucket list. Two in fact. I hiked up to Golden Ears Lower Falls and took my besties along with me for a picnic. I'd done the trail several times before but I suppose I might have underestimated it when I told my friends we were going on a 20 minute walk...which turned out to be a 40 minute hike. Oops. Did I mention they had to carry food laden coolers and bags? And cross treacherous mud swamps?

This is from our adventures today when we had a picnic in a field.  Everyday in grade 11 Socials we asked Mme. Terrillon "Est-ce qu'on peut gambader aujourd'hui?" Today we finally did.

Little did she know...

But because my friends are the best they still loved me after I made them spend an afternoon hiking and swimming unprepared. The view wasn't too bad either.

Oh Darlin' Don't You Ever Grow Up.

A midst all the paper work and financial planning for school I've somehow had the time to purge my 'stuff' laden room.  After a year of being away from my supposedly important clutter, most of it was easy to part with. I go on these purges and try to throw out everything I can while I'm in a non-sentimental mood. I was doing really well this time filling garbage bags left and right. But a few stumbled upon memories and keepsakes left me a hopeless hoarder. 

My teapot. It has been super-glued  back together so many times I'm surprised it's more than just a pile of dust. I remember making my mom sit down with me and sipping hot chocolate from our little teacups and eating dainty treats. 

This is the backpack I took on every road trip my family ever went on. Mostly to our cousin's farm or Grandma's ranch.  We loaded up with tons of Archie comics and paper to color on. Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites tapes played as we stuffed ourselves with trail mix and granola bars.

This Seashell I picked up on the perfect day trip to the beach with my family. We had just moved to the West coast from the prairies and it was one of the first times I swam in the Pacific Ocean. The shell was pristine and didn't have a single crack or chip in it.

These lovely ladies were handcrafted by my mother (left) and my Grandmother (right). The one from  my grandmother was first introduced to me when I had a bad sliver. I was scared and crying and my mom introduced 'Alice' to me and said if I held her tight I would be ok. The doll on the left, who went unnamed, had matching pj's and waited on my bed for me while I went to school.

Princess Wishing Star has been one of my treasured companions since age 4.  It has all been video documented. It was my 4th birthday and my brothers were kindly helping me un-wrap a large box. I screeched over and over when I saw she had come home to me from where I had admired her at the store. When I was subdued I cooed over the pink princess and said 'she's so pretty'

When you tap the wand on her star and make a wish her crown lights up and tells you how your wish will turn out. Sometimes in my dark room at nights I would take her out and watch her light up my blackened room.

     I've been horribly sidetracked in my de-junking process. And it appears as though my parents are doomed to have a shrine forever dedicated to my childhood. I was glad to spend the day as one happy, little again girl.

It was the summer of...'11

Summer has been moving so fast and I can't believe that July has plowed its way through to August. But I can't complain because, although the weather has been October worthy half the time, I've loved every minute of it. I'm so happy to be home. I'm storing away this family time for when I'll be hitting the books hard. Here's a taste of my summer lovin'.

Got mail

Had a baby shower..

With lots of interesting activities

Celebrated Will and Kate at the best Drive in  ever.

Danced on roofs

Took pictures on roofs

Went in Parades with important people

met curious beasts

Photographed pretty things :)