There's a Mote in your Eye!

   

        One thing that I've come to love about my career is the ability to see inside people. Well I suppose that's sort of the whole point of the job, but sometimes you see more than you would think. There are some assumptions we make in medicine because they follow a consistent pattern. Things like when someone describes a right sided pain that radiates to their shoulder after eating a heavy meal they probably have gallstones. Or when they tell you about a long flight they were on and now have a swollen and tender leg that they probably have a clot. And sometimes it's hard to walk in to scan a 20 year old, skinny patient who has been relatively healthy and not just assume its going to be normal.

      I even learn these things in school. I've learned to put together external evidences, judge within minutes and categorize so as to be able to jump to a conclusion. I've learned to be able to focus in on areas which will be affected by these symptoms and to pay close attention to subtleties. I can spend more time on a localized area trying to figure out the problem. But I've also learned to judge people. I hastily put an entire person in a generic container based a few traits. I've learned that large people are usually hard to scan and have fatty livers. That people with cirrhosis usually drink too much. And people who come in for scan, after scan, with normal results are usually hypochondriacs.
 
    These habits, I've come to realize, don't stop at my work day. Unfortunately I, and I think I wouldn't be too far off by saying people other than just me, make a lot of assumptions and judgements on what we have seen as a consistent pattern. That people who cut us off are jerks, the person who says an unkind word is bitter and hates you and when someone someone asks for change on the street they've done things to put themselves there

    It was a smack upside the head the day I read the requisition form for my next patient. It told me they had cirrhosis and I assumed this person had a few too many drinks. I was expecting to walk in on and see a person with their life in shambles and an addictive nature. But the kind man who I spent the next hour with was patiently living with a disease that had attacked his liver and left it scarred beyond repair. He was sweet and long-suffering.

     That's when I knew I had to take a step back. Both in and out of my job. I realized the facts I have almost never add up to the whole truth. Some days we get a glimpse at the big picture, and others we have to deal with the piece we've been given. I've seen alcoholics with healthier livers than some 20 years olds. I've had my work torn to shreds only to realize what someone saw in me and decided to cultivate. The most beautiful, plaque-free carotid arteries I've seen was on a woman in her 90's. I've met people who I thought should know better how to act, only to later discover the crippling background they've come from. I've scanned people who I thought would be normal and see a tumor taking up half their body. How long had they suffered in silence?  I've seen people at the top of the social pyramid, and seem to know it, spend their time with an awkward outsider. The truth is all we will ever get to see is a 2D snapshot of a complex and beautiful 3D person, one who is constantly morphing, changing, growing, progressing and making mistakes.

  I know by experience I make hasty judgements from brief moments of what I see. But I also know that the richest experiences, the most learning and moments of absolute humility have come when I set aside my judgements. When I see a person for what they have been through, who they are and what they may become. The way I, and might I be so hypocritical as to assume that we, would like to be seen. Because you never know, when you open up a person, you might be surprised by what you see inside.


   "There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.” 
                                                                                                 -Thomas S Monson

And if you're really on a roll read this story. Have kleenex.

The Perfect Day: Take 2

     There's just something about holiday Mondays that seem to bring all my friends together. We had an awesome day like the one in  November, but a summer version.

      It started with a morning brunch for our ward. People played guitar, sang and even rode a unicycle. Plus who doesn't love eating food that you didn't have to make for yourself? We gathered a crowd and hiked on over from my house to the legislature building. It was packed. We trickled our way through the people who, all together, filled the air with the heavy smell of coconut sunscreen. It was chokingly hot day so obviously we childishly played in the kiddie pools. And after cooling off we went to watch some of the performers.

     I'm not much of a crowd person so it was fun for the hour we were there but I was much more in my comfort zone when we decided to go to a residential park and have a picnic. Also because picnics are one of my favorite things to do. A couple of friends had brought some slacklines. It was my first attempt at slacklining and I can now take 6 steps! We made our own fun by grabbing some baskets and mini frisbees out of Kristin's trunk and made sport of trying to land them in the baskets. Thankfully it was also a water park so when we all got too warm we sought the relief of the colorful, water-spouting tunnel. Some were not as willing to get wet, but they were 'firmly encouraged with assistance' and everyone came out equally soaked.

      After laying in the sun and attempting to dry off it felt so nice to get out of damp clothes and change into fresh dry ones. We drove to the fireworks early to secure a spot. We played games, ate pizza and enjoyed the serenading of guitar to pass the time.

     And then they started. I love the feeling of community you get when you organize with thousands of people to all do the same thing. I also love the anticipation of what's coming. It doesn't often happen that you know something very good and exciting is coming but you don't know exactly what it will be like.

      My very favorite part though is when you can feel the explosion blow through your body. All your senses are excited. Lights flashing one after another, pounding in your ears and chest, the smell of smoke.

    Then it was over. But is there a better way to end any day? I think people would sleep a little easier if there were fireworks every night. Who wouldn't feel better about letting some steam off cheering for brilliant lights in the sky? You'd always have something to look forward to every night. Anyone else with me?

It was a fantastic summer's day spent with some friends who I think are all pretty great. Bring on Labor day!

Adventures in BC

   Although I'm glad my program is condensed and I get to graduate early I'm also kind of sad I didn't get to spend all my summer at home. I did get to go back for a couple of weeks though. Maybe it makes me appreciate it more. I had such a good time seeing friends, new babies, and family.

Leaving Edmonton was great. I love flying. Not so much the airports, the boarding and the layovers. But the taking off and looking out the window, trying to figure out how they made all the lots so square on the ground. I think the thing I miss the most about BC is the mountains. When people from the prairies drive through the mountain passes lots of them say how closed in they feel. I understand that. I like the open skies of Alberta  and how you look until you can see fields meet the sky. But the mountains are so comforting to me. I don't feel so much closed in as I feel protected and secured by them. Besides, nothing can beat the way a sunrise looks on a mountain.

I had more scenic adventures on the ground too. I remember when I moved to BC from Saskatoon. And for the longest time I was almost resentful of how beautiful everyone kept telling me it was. I wasn't going to be happy no matter what this new place looked like, because it wasn't my home. Now that I'm back on the prairies I long for the rivers, trees and mountains because now they feel like home. Cruel joke, eh?

   It was a relief to not study at all while I was at home. Definitely burning out quicker each semester as I come to the end of this program. I had to find some way to fill all that time I would have spent studying. So I took advantage of the counter space and baked. I made pumpkin marble cheese cake, red velvet cookies with cream cheese icing filling, wayy too many doggy cupcakes for the ward Elder's quorum for father's day and a delicious carrot cake for my brother's birthday.

I got home at the perfect time. Two days before my little brother graduated. Kind of hard to believe. It was a long, long ceremony but I was glad to be there.

   I went out to an Asian night market. There were some crazy things there. Mostly a lot of  food I've never seen before. I almost bought this really cool necklace until one of the booth owners told me it was a belt. Yep, I'm one of those silly white girl tourists. Well at least then no one would have had the same necklace as me.

I got to see a few of my friends. But mostly I was around home just spending quality time with my family. Mom and I did handwork together. My brothers got me hooked on a zombie show. Still at a loss to how that happened. My dad took me out on Daddy daughter date for the first time in years. And we played cards with Grandma. I can't believe how she sold me out in hearts. The important thing is that I still won :P

It was too short, like it always is. But I'll be looking forward to when I get to go home again for Christmas. Only 168 days left!

Yearly update!

For the past 3 years I've kept track of the new experiences I've had. Many new wonderful and exciting discoveries have been made. I've fallen in love with avacados, made many colorful friends on the bus and tried things that scare me. So here's my year in adventures! I...

- Played ping pong for the first time ever! I got the best leg work out ever squatting down to the pick the ball up every 2 seconds

-Made pie! 

- Eaten real sushi. Not bad.

- Learned to crochet..things got a little out of hand 

- Been in a basketball pool (I don't follow basketball at all so I chose my pool completely based on who would win if their mascots duked it out. I was in the top 10)

- Tried an assortment of food for the first time Cloddhoppers, starfruit, tofu, menchies

-Graduated from institute!

- Had a song written for me. If you haven't seen this already...you should watch it.

- Ridden a ladder in a library...It was kind of a big deal!

- Went to a College basketball game in Edmonton

- Got a big girl's job!!

MacEwan Bball and my work sweater :)

- Bought a pair of skates. AKA became an official Albertan

-Made Cinnamon buns...they were divine!

- Used a hashtag #Overrated #kindafun #Idonthavetwitter

- Cut someone's hair...No pictures of his hair because I maimed it...just kidding it turned out pretty good :)

- Had a code Orange at the hospital (Crazy accident on the QE2 = Mass casualty)

- Wrestled me a calf and vaccinated

-Found twins!! It's kind of cool to know you are the only person in the world to know that kind of information before you tell the parents

- Seen the gum wall in Seattle

- Used a puffer. It was gross. 

Well it's been a wonderful year. I just can't believe that it's been that long! Next time this year I will have graduated, started my grown up job and have gone on many more exciting adventures.

Branding

     I guess I've hit that rebellious streak that eluded me in my teen years. Monday afternoon I finished my swim at school and decided I didn't feel like Physics class that day. So I didn't go. Then I found out branding was happening this weekend at Grandma's and my Dad had flown in. So there was no way I was missing out on that. The obvious thing to do was to skip school on Friday. And I did just that.

Kyla and I drove down those beautiful country roads to my grandma's ranch. A hot meal and good company were waiting for us. Early the next morning nestled in our beds Dad whispered in our room that kittens had been born the night before (I'm still a little disturbed that the odd cringe-like movements the cat made on my lap the night previous were contractions and the little wet spot on my jeans was amniotic fluid. But I try not to think about that too much) There were 5 kitties and they were darling as could be. We had a bit of a search and rescue mission for one when it decided to leave the nest (seriously after 1 day!) and found it's way through the cracks of Grandma's porch.

One day old kittens and a proud momma

In the evening all the cowboy hats pulled into the yard and all calves were ready to be branded. Although all my relatives on that side of the family are from country roots I definitely don't claim to be a country girl. I love it out here but I'm pretty sure I'm still a 'city slicker'. I remember my first branding and I ran away and cried. The smell stung my nose and I didn't like to think about it. This time I was actually useful! I shied away from the vaccination needle at first. But then I decided "Hey. I may be a city slicker, but by golly I am the most qualified medical person here!" (even though they still don't let me poke people with needles) So I jumped right in.

      One family friend kept asking when I was going to wrestle the calves. I thought he was kidding so I kept saying "I'll grab the next one". Until the last cow came and suddenly I was on the ground wrestling with its hind legs. I guess city girls aren't all useless!
  After the work was done we made our way back to the log house at the top of the hill for one of grandma's dinners. She made 4 1/2 dozen buns. They all got eaten. My Grandma is famous for them. We had a million different desserts that made everyone loosen another loop on their belts. People stayed to chat and catch up until the stars told them it was time for bed.

    The rest of the weekend my Daddy and I (Kyla too) went to the Didsbury car show. He just cannot get enough of those vintage cars. I'd like to keep a tally of how many he has been to. We stopped to chat with one of the owners and his wife (the most hilarious English lady I've met) "If women decided to get together and collect old washing machines and have meets to talk about them they'd think we were daft!"
I'm starting a club girls! Lets talk old washing machines!
I just can't get enough of those '50 belairs. One was for sale, but unfortunately $32, 000 just isn't in my budget right now.

Spent the weekend with vintage Maseratis, Lamborghinis and Ferraris.

    I spent some quality time wandering through memory lane. The old barn is coming down one day soon and I just feel like a part of what I know the world to be will be gone. That may sound a little melodramatic. But that barn has stood there for over a hundred years. I've played in it, fell asleep in it, spent hours looking for kittens, feeding horses, playing pretend, helping the hired hand. It houses many of my fond memories. And I wouldn't be surprised if I cry the day its torn down.

     Many a wondrous thing happened. I got my first burn of the summer. (and it's not a farmer's tan because I was on a ranch). Something about the first brown skin of the season is so exhilarating. Spent the day with my Grandma for mother's day. I watched 'Singing in the Rain' for the first time. Oh I loved it. And got some good quality time in with my old man. It's been 4 months since I've seen Pops.

So perhaps the weekend was a little bit on the rebellious side (I didn't even study much for my midterm today!) But if the consequences from this weekend were supposed to help me see the error of my ways, then it did no such thing.