Back! And Better Than Ever

    Hello blogging world! I've had several requests (?complaints) the a new blog post was in order. And what's a people pleasing girl, like myself, gonna do with her unhappy public?! So as per request, this is your delivery.
Since my last post (in October, which I admit myself is rather shameful) I've:

- Finished my education!

The exams stressed me pretty much to the max, but I pulled through and am now proud to call myself a Sonographer. I started work at Canada Diagnostic Centres and am absolutely loving it. The people I work with are great, the hours are amazing, its awesome to finally be getting paid for what I was doing anyway! All around win!

I wrote my Canada board exams shortly after starting (results aren't in yet so the celebration isn't official yet!)

-I went home                                                                                                                                     

It is always so wonderful after a long stretch of being away from family to go home. Got some quality time in with the sibs and just chilled after a really rough couple of cramming weeks.

My daddy and I went for a bike ride (it has been years since I've hopped on one of those contraptions). And he totally whipped my tush up those hills. We all got alcatraz Pj's for Christmas. Momma's a talented woman. (who is mightily enjoying that choke hold of Dad's)

We made the Nativity scene out of gingerbread men. See my life-like recreation of Lulu!

-I got laser eye surgery!                                                                                                                

Poor mom was a personal taxi for weeks. I had my eyes done and was an invalid for days and Clayton had his wisdom teeth out within a week of my surgery.

And I could sugar coat it, but I'm not going to. It was painful. I could not open my eyes for a day and couldn't tolerate light for 3. But I'm happy now. I love waking up and looking at my clock at the other side of the room and knowing what time it is. Or getting up and just going, falling asleep and not having to take contacts out, not having to pack contacts, solution, case and glasses when I go somewhere over night. Awesome.

                                  

I'm still with that cute-looking blonde boy.

                                       These are the flowers he bought me when I was feeling sad

These are the flowers he bought me when I finished my board exams and surprised me by sneaking into my house and leaving them on my desk

These ones are for Valentines day. 

And I didn't snap a shot of the beautiful white lilies he got me after I finished my Provincial board exams.

He came out for a visit during the break. 19 hours on a greyhound bus, folks! He is a trooper! I picked him up at 4:30 AM the morning he got in. And we had a blast! Going to the movies, sight seeing, visiting Vancouver, going on the skytrain, shopping in the states!

Apparently we also ate a lot of food. This would explain why he's now put P90X on my desktop. Subtle, Hun.

And so when a boy buys you so many flowers and spends prolonged periods of time on a bus, endangering his neck to the crazies who ride it, just to see you, there are certain consequences.

- I got engaged                                                                                                                                 

Vancouver Temple May 9th 2014. 

NBD

That has been a wild, crazy, frustrating experience! And to all those girls who have had a binder of the wedding they've wanted since they were 6. Let me tell you now, you've forgot something! There's no way the human mind can possibly think of all the things you will actually need at one time! Sheesh!

But it's also a crazy amount of fun. This past weekend we got the bridesmaid dresses.

And if we were going for a 60's theme this would have been perfect. Pictures of the real deal will be released after May 9th. You can bite your fingernails until then! And I might borrow yours too, cause I don't have any more fingernails to bite!

                                                                

There's a Mote in your Eye!

   

        One thing that I've come to love about my career is the ability to see inside people. Well I suppose that's sort of the whole point of the job, but sometimes you see more than you would think. There are some assumptions we make in medicine because they follow a consistent pattern. Things like when someone describes a right sided pain that radiates to their shoulder after eating a heavy meal they probably have gallstones. Or when they tell you about a long flight they were on and now have a swollen and tender leg that they probably have a clot. And sometimes it's hard to walk in to scan a 20 year old, skinny patient who has been relatively healthy and not just assume its going to be normal.

      I even learn these things in school. I've learned to put together external evidences, judge within minutes and categorize so as to be able to jump to a conclusion. I've learned to be able to focus in on areas which will be affected by these symptoms and to pay close attention to subtleties. I can spend more time on a localized area trying to figure out the problem. But I've also learned to judge people. I hastily put an entire person in a generic container based a few traits. I've learned that large people are usually hard to scan and have fatty livers. That people with cirrhosis usually drink too much. And people who come in for scan, after scan, with normal results are usually hypochondriacs.
 
    These habits, I've come to realize, don't stop at my work day. Unfortunately I, and I think I wouldn't be too far off by saying people other than just me, make a lot of assumptions and judgements on what we have seen as a consistent pattern. That people who cut us off are jerks, the person who says an unkind word is bitter and hates you and when someone someone asks for change on the street they've done things to put themselves there

    It was a smack upside the head the day I read the requisition form for my next patient. It told me they had cirrhosis and I assumed this person had a few too many drinks. I was expecting to walk in on and see a person with their life in shambles and an addictive nature. But the kind man who I spent the next hour with was patiently living with a disease that had attacked his liver and left it scarred beyond repair. He was sweet and long-suffering.

     That's when I knew I had to take a step back. Both in and out of my job. I realized the facts I have almost never add up to the whole truth. Some days we get a glimpse at the big picture, and others we have to deal with the piece we've been given. I've seen alcoholics with healthier livers than some 20 years olds. I've had my work torn to shreds only to realize what someone saw in me and decided to cultivate. The most beautiful, plaque-free carotid arteries I've seen was on a woman in her 90's. I've met people who I thought should know better how to act, only to later discover the crippling background they've come from. I've scanned people who I thought would be normal and see a tumor taking up half their body. How long had they suffered in silence?  I've seen people at the top of the social pyramid, and seem to know it, spend their time with an awkward outsider. The truth is all we will ever get to see is a 2D snapshot of a complex and beautiful 3D person, one who is constantly morphing, changing, growing, progressing and making mistakes.

  I know by experience I make hasty judgements from brief moments of what I see. But I also know that the richest experiences, the most learning and moments of absolute humility have come when I set aside my judgements. When I see a person for what they have been through, who they are and what they may become. The way I, and might I be so hypocritical as to assume that we, would like to be seen. Because you never know, when you open up a person, you might be surprised by what you see inside.


   "There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.” 
                                                                                                 -Thomas S Monson

And if you're really on a roll read this story. Have kleenex.

Humble Pie

   Well I learned a lesson I at practicum today that I didn't anticipate. I scanned a case of cholangiocarcinoma (cancer involving the bile ducts). My preceptor left me alone to scan and I was having a rough time. The liver is a big and daunting organ to scan when it's normal. When you throw in strange shapes and shades of gray you get lost. Fast. And so it was with this woman.

    My preceptor asked me "So Naomi, what are YOU going to be doing tonight." Studying cholangiocarcinoma that's what. When I had a few minutes to spare I grabbed one of the textbooks they keep in the tech room. I was looking over a section about this form of cancer and it was actually quite good. Made some notes. Got a little bit smarter. Then one of the radiologists stepped out of his office and saw me. He asked if the book was good to study from. I'd looked some stuff up in it once before and hadn't found it too useful so I told him "Depends on what you're looking for." He smiled, slightly shocked actually, let out a chuckle and said "Oh, yes."

  I realized at this moment, from a previous perusal of this book, that there was a signature at the front. I quickly flipped to it. Yes of course. "To the radiologist residents and ultrasound technicians. Gavin Low" The very doctor I'd just been chatting with. In my embarrassment I told one of the techs about my blunder. But wait. The story gets better. The tech laughed harder as I frantically turned, for a second time, to the front of the book...where Dr. Gavin Low was written once again...as one of the contributing authors. And wouldn't you just know it. He wrote the section on Cholangiocarcinoma.

   Lesson learned: When a doctor asks you how you enjoy a textbook either praise it highly or check out the references thoroughly before bashing it.

Dr. Gavin Low

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

I Have a Dream

        
         I'm not one to have big dreams. I mean I have goals like having a family and finishing my education. but I've never been the type to fantasize about touring foreign countries, living an extravagant life-style or altering the world in some large way. I just want to be happy. But for once I had a dream. It started 2 years ago when I job shadowed a sonographer technician and I knew what career path I wanted to follow. It was a rough beginning because I had to catch up on classes I hadn't needed before. having to take physics courses online and in nightschool while still taking on a full academic course load, working part-time and all the responsibility of 3 church callings almost broke and cracked me in places for sure. Sometimes I didn't have the support I wanted from everyone. Some of my friends told me I was better than an ultrasound tech and I felt looked down on for setting my sights supposedly below my potential. Not getting in the first year didn't encourage any positive sentiments of my abilities. Still, because I am so stubborn when it comes to my personal achievements, I made every possible effort to attain my dream. I moved away from my family, I re-applied, I cried and I waited. I studied, I was interviewed, I stressed and I waited. The odds were stacked with 66% failure rate AFTER being shortlisted. 

         One rainy tuesday morning my phone vibrated. of course not having caller ID I picked up expecting it to be my mom (who else do I talk to, really?). The unfamiliar voice asked for Naomi. And then proceeded to offer me my dream. All I heard was "we would like to give you a seat in the Diagnostic Medical Imaging program 

for Sonography." She didn't tell me to sit down like they do in the movies when they give you big news! 

What I found most intriguing about this was I didn't feel that great relief or excitement or overwhelming joy that I was expecting for 2 years. I think I felt more relief when I finished my Physics night course, and more excitement when I got a B in Calculus and the most overwhelming joy when I got an interview for the program. I had my triumphs all along the way and the acceptance letter was just the ribbon that tied the package together. The victory wasn't a phone call. It was the late nights I finished my homework and went to bed without a congratulatory pat on the back. 

The "big" things in life were all accomplished by day to day small tasks. The little things are the big things.